White Whale
by LeSkuh
Summary: .:OneShot:. And even if they did get him back, and they will get him back, he still won’t get back the one thing he’s never had. NaruSaku, SasuSaku.


**White Whale**

"And that one?"

"Mm...I dunno Sakura-chan. Maybe some kind of mutant rabbit or something." Naruto leans back and breathes deep. Beside him Sakura laughs, light and tinkling. The air is chilly and he can smell winter in the wind.

"You're not even trying anymore." She accuses him. He raises an eyebrow at her, and puffs out his cheeks like a blow fish. She leans over and prods them with one bony finger. "Naruto," she pouts.

"Aww, c'mon Sakura-chan. I'm tired and cloud watching is so boring. Why don't you get that lazy bum Shikamaru to watch with you? He likes doing this kind of thing." Naruto is always the complainer, but she knows and he knows she knows that he doesn't mean any of it and that spending time with her is something he wouldn't trade. Ever.

"Because, idiot, I don't want to watch the clouds with Shikamaru. I wanna watch them with you." She flicks his nose, causing him to let out an angry hiss. She laughs again and her eyes sparkle for the first time in awhile and his heart twists - just a bit. Gently she lowers herself down beside him again and points to a long curving cloud directly above them. "What about that one?"

"A snake." Naruto answers without thinking.

"Oh."

And just like that the sparkle is gone and the happiness is gone and the Sakura that he might love is gone. Now is the new Sakura, all power and strength and focus. And he regrets ever opening his big fat mouth, because it always gets him into trouble.

"Sakura..." He whispers apologetically, but she is already gone in her thoughts and tragedy.

They are both silent for a few moments as Naruto tries to think of the magic words to bring his Sakura back - the tinkling, light, sparkling Sakura who is strong without having to use physical force and who makes him believe in the future and who he may truly love.

"Do you think he's happy? Even just a little?" She asks, before he can form the perfect words.

"I -...I don't know. I wouldn't be. But he's always been...y'know... I mean...Uhh..." Naruto finishes eloquently.

"Yeah." Sakura agrees.

"Do..." Naruto clears his throat and tries to keep his voice emotionless - tries and fails, "Do you think about him a lot?"

"Every day."

And that hits hard. And it's not like he didn't expect it, but it still hurts dammit. Because the truth is that he never even had a chance to have light, tinkling, sparkling Sakura who he may have loved, because that girl belonged to Sasuke. Always to Sasuke. And now Naruto is stuck with the broken, dying, lost little girl that is pretending to be all right who was left in Sasuke's wake and it's when he thinks about it, really and truly thinks about it, that he hates Sasuke more than just a little for coming and then going and then lingering. Always goddamn lingering in the back of every happy moment. The one great sadness of his life. The one great failure. And he'd been doing so well. Zabuza, Neji, Gaara, Tsunade. He could bring them back to themselves, but his best friend? His Sakura's other half?

He was so useless.

And even if they did get him back (and they will get him back), he still won't get back the one thing he's never had.

He'll never get back his Sakura-chan.

The brilliant, shining, light-of-the-world Sakura-chan, who he probably really loved.

Because he'd never had her to begin with.

"I hope he gets your happy ending Sakura-chan." He whispers as he reaches out to loop his finger around a strand of her hair.

"Huh?"

"You know what I mean."

And she does and he knows she does, because he has always loved her. No mights, no maybes, no probablies. He has. He does. No question about it.

And he hopes and prays that when Sasuke comes back she'll find a way to combine who she was with who she has become into one complete, happy person and he hopes that Sasuke will realize how amazing that person truly is and he begs the earth and the stars that maybe one day in the future, when everything is better, there will be a moment, just a brief fleeting moment that she will look at him - Naruto.

And love him as much as she loves Sasuke.

He lives for that day.

Even though he knows it will never come.

End.

::False dreams are better than no dreams after all::

- - -

a/n: it must suck to be naruto. i hope he gets a happy ending. i really do.


End file.
